God of War 3

First of all, do not let your children play this video game.  If your child is under the age of, say, 35, and you find him playing this game, beat him senseless.  With a broadsword.  That’ll learn em.

You Talkin' To Me?

No, but seriously, amidst all the bloodshed and gore – and there are some brutal scenes here – there is also a playable sex scene in this thing that’s as graphic as anything I’ve seen in a video game.  And even that was nowhere near as disturbing as the scene where Kratos sticks a bare-breasted girl under a winch in order to hold a door open even though it crushes her to death while she pleads for mercy.  And Kratos is, like, the hero.  So if your grandchild  looks up at you with those big eyes of his and says, “Oh, please, can’t I have it?” thrash him with your fire chains until he explodes.

Well, it’s all very deplorable and our society is going to hell in a handbasket…  but boy, what a lot of fun!  Unbelievable graphics, silly but compelling story, excellent controls.  I suppose I should be thoroughly ashamed of myself for having such a good time with this, but no, not really.  In point of fact, I think for those of us slightly over the age of 35, stuff like this is a more or less harmless way to take our cruel, slavering, sadistic inner natures out for a stroll before putting them back in the cage.

Plus the darkly imagined underworld and the battles with mythological creatures and the final journey through the darkness of the imagination and the truly clever and challenging boss battles all add up to a very cool gaming experience.

All the same, I confess, it’s something of a relief to move on to Super Mario Galaxy 2.  Woo-hoo!

Be Sociable, Share!
  • http://confoundinglysimple.wordpress.com/ Brian

    Yeah, you wan’t clever and truly challenging, try to get all 242 stars on Super Mario Galaxy 2. The Ultimate Test and The Perfect Run are two of the most challenging videogame moments I’ve ever come across.

    God of War’s always seemed to be more of cinematic experiences than true games, but they were so much fun (especially the boss battles) that it never seemed to matter. Sounds like 3 carries on in that tradition.

  • Brandon

    I always enjoy your perspective Mr. Klavan, and as a video game fan, I’m sure I would enjoy this game as well. As we share the same faith however, I feel compelled to mention a couple things that prevent me from truly enjoying games like this:

    Phillipians 4

    8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

    Proverbs 4
    23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
    For from it flow the springs of life.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this review is aimed at a primarily secular audience, but you’ve went and attracted some crazy fundamentalists with your conservative rantings :)

  • Pingback: Klavan Reviews God of War 3 | Games Blog

  • http://www.markyoungbooks.com/ Mark Younng

    Normally, I side with Mr. Klavan on his take on our culture, Brian, but this time I’d agree with you.

    As a father of an eight-year-old daughter, I look at what our digitized culture offers and wonder just how far we will take this. I write murder mysteries, so I must deal with a certain amount of murder and mayhem, but there is a line somewhere out there that we should not cross.

    I think we left that line in the dust a while back.

  • http://stopscratchingyourbaldhead.blogspot.com Mike

    All of the above rings absolutely true.

    Now if only those darned capitalists would figure out they’d profit more by selling it on an Xbox 360 console!!

  • Pingback: Diy Funny Life