This weekend, leftist comedians John Stewart and Stephen Colbert held a large “Rally to Restore Sanity,” in Washington DC. If sanity has to be restored, the implication is that Americans right now are insane.
Leftist President Barack Obama doesn’t think we’re insane necessarily. He just thinks we’re too overcome with fear to think clearly. “Part of the reason that our politics seems so tough right now and facts and science and argument does not seem to be winning the day all the time is because we’re hardwired not to always think clearly when we’re scared,” the president says. “And the country’s scared.”
Leftist comedian Bill Maher doesn’t feel we think very clearly even at the best of times. America, he says, is “a stupid country with stupid people.” He says Democrats exist to pull the rest of us hillbillies out of the dark ages:
Leftist senator John Kerry more or less agrees with Maher, saying the ordinary voter “doesn’t always pay that much attention to what’s going on, so people are influenced by a simple slogan rather than the facts or the truth.” He called this “a period of know-nothingism in the country, where truth and science and facts don’t weigh in.”
Now, stupid as I am–and so scared I could hardly think straight even if I had any brains to begin with–I’m beginning to get the message. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the way I’m hearing it, these left-wing elites in Washington and Hollywood don’t think much of the rest of us.
Well, shucks. That makes me feel downright bad. No, really. Them being all cool and hip and scientific and stuff. Here I was walking around like a dunce thinking America was supposed to be an exceptional country, a government of the people, by the people and for the people. And now it turns out, according to these hip scientific coolsters, the people stink. Dang.
I guess that explains why leftist film director Woody Allen thinks “It would be good… if [President Obama] could be dictator for a few years because he could do a lot of good things quickly.” I guess that’s also why leftist New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman says, “One-party autocracy certainly has its drawbacks. But when it is led by a reasonably enlightened group of people, as China is today, it can also have great advantages.”
Of course! Makes perfect sense. Why have any of that democratic, two-party stuff going on when the people are so stupid not to mention scared out of what little intelligence they have?
So let me see if stupid old me has got all this straight. The message from our betters is that Republicans equal the people equal stupid, unscientific, insane and scared. Democrats equal the elites equal everything sophisticated, cool, intelligent and modern–so much so, in fact, that we’ve got to get rid of this democracy stuff that currently threatens to overturn the democratic majority which is the only majority a country could ever want or need.
Yes, as far as I can tell, that’s the message. And elites, I want you to know that we hear you. We, I mean, the stupid, ignorant and frightened–we the unreasoning and unwashed–we the unscientific and insane–we the patriotic and the faithful–we the constitutional and free–we, that is to say, the people–we have received your message loud and clear.
And we are currently crafting a response.